don’t mess with mikasa
I'm a girl who is open to anything.
just go for it lovely; you can’t stop yourself dating who you want based on what other people think - nobody would date anyone ever if we abide by other peoples ideals of what makes a good couple.
I’ve dated dudes shorter than me, and my best friend cass is married to a guy who is much shorter than her and they’re seriously the most beautiful and adorable fucking couple I have ever witnessed.
the important thing is just owning it; be confident about each other and your height difference and embrace the perks like - you can carry him to bed, he might be the perfect height to nuzzle his head in your boobs, you can use his head as a cute chin-rest, he’s easier to give piggy-back rides to, and hugs with shorter dudes feel awesome, trust me. honestly, as soon as you and your partner just work with it and own it, people won’t even care; they’ll think you’re adorable and you will be. with my friend cass and her shorter husband, I dont even notice their height difference, I’m just like “CUTE COUPLE ALERT HOLY SHIT” every time I see them. and I thought that the first night I met them because they were just running around (drunk at the time), holding hands, making each other laugh and all I thought was “I WANT TO HAVE WHAT THEY HAVE”, they’re perfect.
you gotta think of it as you’re an amazonian goddess and he’s a fucking cute ass guy who’ll proudly throw his arm around your waist and be like
I know I’m gratuitously using levihan here but hear me out: a dude I was keen on earlier this year was about 10cms shorter than me and he liked me too but he was insecure about being shorter. But he also watched SNK so I showed him some of my levihan fanart on my phone when we were at a party and he was like “okay you clearly don’t have a problem with our height difference” and basically I got some by the end of the night. So just be confident and work that height difference. It really shouldn’t be an issue, and should definitely not stop you from dating someone you like.
You’re adorable Soph. Be proud anon, she’s right…short dudes give the best hugs.
SEE? LOOK AT THOSE FINE-ASS MOTHERFUCKERS.
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:
- Stay with us and keep calm.
The last thing we need when we’re panicking, is to have someone else panicking with us.
- Offer medicine if we usually take it during an attack.
You might have to ask whether or not we take medicine- heck, some might not; but please, ask. It really helps.
- Move us to a quiet place.
We need time to think, to breathe. Being surrounded by people isn’t going to help.
- Don’t make assumptions about what we need. Ask.
We’ll tell you what we need. Sometimes; you may have to ask- but never assume.
- Speak to us in short, simple sentences.
- Be predictable. Avoid surprises.
- Help slow our breathing by breathing us or by counting slowly to 10.
As odd as it sounds, it works.WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T DO:
1. Say, “You have nothing to be panicked about.”
We know. We know. We know. And because we know we have nothing to be panicked about, we panic even more. When I realize that my anxiety is unfounded, I panic even more because then I feel like I’m not in touch with reality. It’s unsettling. Scary.
Most of the time, a panic attack is irrational. Sometimes they stem from circumstances — a certain couch triggers a bad memory or being on an airplane makes you claustrophobic or a break up causes you to flip your lid — but mostly, the reasons I’m panicking are complex, hard to articulate or simply, unknown. I could tell myself all day that I have no reason to be having a panic attack and I would still be panicking. Sometimes, because I’m a perfectionist, I become even more overwhelmed when I think my behaviour is “unacceptable” (as I often believe it is when I’m panicking). I know it’s all in my mind, but my mind can be a pretty dark and scary place when it gets going.
Alternate suggestion: Say, “I understand you’re upset. It is okay. You have a right to be upset and I am here to help.”
2. Say, “Calm down.”
This reminds me of a MadTV sketch where Bob Newhart plays a therapist who tells his patients to simply “Stop it!” whenever they express anxiety or fear. As a sketch, it’s funny. In real life, it’s one of the worst things you can do to someone having a panic attack. When someone tells me to “stop panicking” or to “calm down,” I just think, “Oh, okay. I haven’t tried that one. Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper and jot that down, you jerk.”
Instead of taking action so that they do relax, simply telling a panicking person to “calm down” or “stop it” does nothing. No-thing.
Alternate suggestion: The best thing to do is to listen and support. In order to calm them down without the generalities, counting helps.
3. Say, “I’m just going to leave you alone for a minute.”
Being left alone while panicking makes my heart race even harder. The last thing I want is to be left by myself with my troubled brain. Many of my panic attacks spark from over-thinking and it’s helpful to have another person with me, not only for medical reasons (in case I pass out or need water) but also it’s helpful to have another person around to force me to think about something other than the noise in my head.
Alternate suggestion: It sometimes helps me if the person I’m with distracts me by telling me a story or sings to me. I need to get out of my own head and think about something other than my own panic.
4. Say, “You’re overreacting.”
Here’s the thing: I’m not. Panic attacks might be in my head, but I’m in actual physical pain. If you’d cut open your leg, no one would be telling you you’re overreacting. It’s a common trope in mental health to diminish the feelings or experience of someone suffering from anxiety or panic because there’s no visible physical ailment and because there’s no discernible reason for the person to be having such a strong fear reaction.
The worst thing you can tell someone who is panicking is that they are overreacting.
Alternate suggestion: Treat a panic attack like any other medical emergency. Listen to what the person is telling you. Get them water if they need it. It helps me if someone rubs my back a little. If you’re in over your head, don’t hesitate to call 911 (or whatever the emergency services number is where you are). But please, take the person seriously. Mental health deserves the same respect as physical health.